Rambling Thoughts

When is it okay to keep secrets? What defines secrecy vs. privacy?

People choose regularly to eliminate or omit certain details about themselves and their lives. Sometimes it's for the better, to spare other people (but mainly ourselves) awkward feelings and situations.

Secrets have a tendancy to lean towards being kept because we know we've done wrong and don't want to be judged for those wrongs. Privacy is more geared toward having something for yourself that is more or less harmless and not kept from people for any reason other than it's a special thing you hold in your mind.

Where is that line drawn in the sand that is so easily blurred? When does something private become something we hold back because it is really a secret and why is it a secret? We have to look deep in our hearts to figure it out.

This is more of a post to keep us wondering about ourselves and why we do the things we do. What are our intentions? Are they true and good motives?
Are we reserved with regards to certain things in order to retain some form of self preservation or defense mechanism?

Is it good for us to keep some things bottled up? What does that do to us? Does it allow toxic parts of our past to continue to poison our hearts?

Some of us have people in our lives we can share certain things with that we won't share with other people. We should hold those people dear to our hearts, knowing that they hold parts of us that are fragile and sacred to us.

Hopefully everyone will find a person they can share all their secrets and private thoughts with for a long time. For some people it may be their parents or a sibling, for others it may be a husband or wife, some may have a long time friend or co-worker. Regardless of who falls into our lives, that we can trust, we should make sure and take a moment to appreciate them everyday.

Ourselves vs. The Rest of the World

So many people don't look at the potential consequences for their actions, whether purposeful of inadvertant.

We, as a people, have this tendancy to just do with no consideration for the future. We play with other peoples (as well as our own) hearts, finances, minds, families, etc. with no regard as to how grand or minute our choices can have an impact any given situation.

Sometimes we just need to slow it down and try to see life like a game of chess. You consider every option and possible outcome in order to win the game, you sit and ponder on each possible move and the following moves that would take place thereafter. If we just rushed through the game with no regard we would be certain to never win regardless of whom we were playing.

It's ourselves vs the rest of the world, and for every action there will always be an equal and opposite reaction.

Sometimes we have to make a "snap decision" (even though I don't really believe in decisions). But most of the time we really aren't rushed by anyone but ourselves. If we could just look at the cause and effect of each of our options, better choices could be made and foolish mistakes could probably be prevented.

There doesn't need to be a rush on everything.

Is it really going to change so drastically in fifteen minutes that we cannot take the time to truly evaluate the possible outcomes and make a wise choice? Probably not.

Is this how it's supposed to be?

So, there you stand, embracing life as it's taking place every day. When you're jolted awake by reality! You thought you were awake before but all of the sudden you see a new you and a new path that wasn't exposed before; a path that you weren't capable of seeing because you never considered anything remotely close to it as an option for you.

Funny, isn't it, how one person or situation can cause a moment of revelation and your eyes are suddenly opened to a different direction that's available.

There should be a name for this split second in life when your options expand.

You have a choice to continue down the path that was comfortable and happy, that you were already headed, or to take a road you've never travelled and see if it will bring you even more joy. It takes a brave and adventurous soul to take the leap of faith and step off the beaten path.

Have you ever met a person with whom there is an undeniable connection?  Someone you know (with every atom of your being) that you've known forever and have been waiting your whole life to meet all at the same time?

Is this how it's supposed to be?

Within...

There are many things that come from deep within our heart and brain.

Peace
Growth
Happiness
Love
Satisfaction
Contentment

Unfortunately, our heart and brain also allow us the polar opposites of such positive feelings. There will usually be a fairly good balance of the Yin and Yang.

Hatred
Sadness
Loathing
Dissatisfaction
Contention
Disgust

The human heart is an amazing, diverse thing. As is the human brain.

Our minds (which try to analyze and reason) in combination with our hearts (which only feel) are supposed to guide us on a positive, seemingly fulfilling path through our lives. If there isn't a balance between mental and spiritual desire things are most certainly bound for failure.

Let's take a look at the Scarecrow vs. the Tin Man for just a minute.  Scarecrow has no brains but has the all the ability in the world to love and feel for his friends. Tin Man has no heart; he is all logic and lacking ability to make a decision based on feelings.

It seems as though this is not going anywhere, and maybe it's not, but next time you sense one or the other of these going on within yourself try to be what you are not feeling or reasoning. If you are all emotion, pretend you are Tin Man. If you are all logic and not capable of any sympathy (or at the least empathy) be Scarecrow for a minute.

See if there is the ability to balance the two within you to make a whole and right choice by seeing the entire picture.

You Can't Handle the Truth...

This week I learned a lesson about shame.

I was presented with a difficult question about my past and I immediately felt shame, anger, resentment, frustration and sadness. None of these feelings were directed toward the person that was inquiring. They were directed at myself and the circumstances.

I lied.

When asked the same question again several days later. Those same emotions reared their ugly head.

I lied again.

After being eaten alive by my own guilt about lying, I decided I had made a mistake, and needed to be honest. Owning up to the lie was worse than the actual lie. I expected an adverse reaction and that was not what was received. Which made me feel even more stupid for lying in the first place.

On a less specific note; Don't ask if you aren't prepared for the answer. They were prepared for the answer and I was not prepared for the question.

Maybe I can't handle my own truth?

Being honest requires a certain level of vulnerability. It's frightening for most people. I've come to the conclusion that people lie because they're ashamed or fearful of a multitude of things.

I'm learning to let go one day at a time.

Ebb and Flow...

So, as people come and go, like the ebb and flow of the tides, through our lives we should be learning valuable lessons from them.

How is it possible to come across a person so similar to ourselves. Someone that we are immediately drawn too. Someone that is on the same mission in life. We look at them and see ourselves in their eyes. Either past self or future self, the consistancies are still there. It seems as though they are what we were or what we are hoping to become. Yet, still drawn to them because we want to help them or want to get help from them.

Then there are people that we have no common ground to start from. Who are on an unenlightened journey through their lives. Because there's such a difference in level toward Nirvana, we don't take the time to try to learn from these people and we should.

What makes a person's life and experiences any less valuble to us (as far as a tool for learning goes)? Is it simply because we think we've already passed those tests and learned those lessons that we don't bother to take a refresher course on them? Maybe we should step back and look at what they have to offer. Sometimes it seems that even the ones we think there will be no connection with are the ones who end up staying in our lives for years to come. In reality just the opposite is true, once we take the time to get to know what they are able to bring to the table we suddenly have tons to learn from them.

Life's lessons are unpredictable. We don't see where they come from or when they will be coming or what form they will take. It's easy to allow the ones into our lives that we know we will benefit from; not so easy to put ourselves out there for the ones that we think we are beyond.

Planes of existance are many and we're all on a different one but we are all living only one life right now. Let's make the most of it. Take whoever and whatever comes to you during your journey and extract as much as possible from their character or that particular situation and apply it to yourself the most positive way you know how.

From Caterpillar to Butterfly

I feel as if I'm reaching a pinnacle moment in my life. I am so young but so very happy with my choices thus far. But, I'm on the verge of something big... I can feel it and it's frustrating because I just want it to happen already! It's inevitable.

I'm not sure the form this big thing is going to take or how it may impact my life. I know I will be tested and it will be one of those moments when you know that the wrong choice will alter your life. I've got to choose wisely when that time comes. I hope I will because of the positive transformation my soul has gone through in the last year.

It's as if for the first time in my life I am alive and living. It's been an awakening. I'm able to look at life with an almost totally objective view.

This blossoming has allowed me to give more of me to myself, my son, my friends and coworkers. Which has in turn allowed me to receive so much more then I expected and it's as if it's compounding. That whole snowball effect of positive things is taking place. If I encourage it and don't do anything to slow it down with bad choices think of how much more I will accomplish in my life with Karma on my side.

I will continue to metamorphosis into a better person every day and with every decision big or small.

How is it?

How is it that people (generally speaking) are full of regrets, embarrassments, sorrows, and a multitude of other negative emotions about their past? I wish that the masses would be able to start letting things go. It's hard to do I know.
But by removing feelings (don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you need to turn into some "void of any emotion" type of person) from the situation and taking the past for what it's worth I am able to not have to cart around this baggage of wretched emotions and allow them to be toxic to my future. You can do the same

I'm working on it daily. I try to look back and say "Okay, what did I learn from that really embarassing situation?", remove the feelings then choosing to apply what I learned.

From my short time on this plant I can comfortably say that the people who carry these feelings around with them are allowing past choices, that were inevitable, to impact their ability to be confident in their choices now. Thus leading to half-hearted attempts at life's great challenges.

*Start to leave the emotions of your past behind you.
*Get on with the future in the best way you know how.
*Do it being confident that you've learned from prior events.
*Apply of the black and white of the lessons you learned from the past.
*Move forward gracefully with no regrets, only more wisdom.

Larger than Life

There are times in a persons life, that are few and far between, when one makes choices that have long lasting effects. Occassionally, we actually recognize them in the moment they're occuring. Other times we realize it afterwards. It takes a moment of clarity when you come up for a breath in the midst of these times and have this epiphany... This moment where you become aware that you are choosing wisely or poorly for yourself. And it feels Larger than Life. Almost suffocating for a second and then you calm yourself and say... Ok, Here we go. Let's see what this chapter of life brings us and how we will grow and evolve from the effects of our choices.
Make sure you take those minutes that hit you at some random 4 o'clock on a Tuesday and run with it. Allow yourselves to reflect on the current point in your long life and where you are right now, how you want to live your life, and what choice you can make right now to accomplish that.